


Dear Fate, Piss Off

by Vixen13



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Did I Mention Angst?, Fluff and Angst, Future Fic, Growing Up, M/M, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, messing with tropes, yet again
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-18
Updated: 2018-07-18
Packaged: 2019-06-12 07:59:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15335403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vixen13/pseuds/Vixen13
Summary: Yuri’s parents were soulmates. He learned at a very young age how awful that was as he watched his mother wither away in misery. His plan was always to live his life alone, focused only on his career, and let his soulmark fade away into nothing just like Victor had. Chosen love rather than fated love had always been much more important to Yuri. Fate must have decided to punish him for that belief because Yuri’s soulmark refused to stop growing.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've been working on this randomly for damn near a year. It's finally done. o|-<
> 
> I'm putting a twist on soulmarks, I hope you like it. This fic does not contain a sex scene. Who _am_ I???

“Momma?”

Yuri peeked around the doorframe and into his parents’ room. His mother sat curled up on the floor in front a large ornate mirror. A bottle of half drained vodka was clutched in one hand while her other ran light fingernails over her chest. She was wearing only her bra and a skirt with ripped pantyhose underneath. The rest of her pretty outfit was strewn haphazardly across the room.

“Momma, where’s dad?” Yuri whispered. He was only six, but he knew well at that point that when his mother clutched a bottle like that, she hated loud noises.

“Your _father_ ,” she spat at the mirror, her lip curling with contempt, “took his family’s side. Yet again. He’s staying shoved up his mother’s ass for another week most likely.”

Her eyes were red rimmed and swollen, but Yuri saw no tears. She never cried for long. She preferred being angry. Yuri stayed where he was and watched her, part of him wanting to comfort her and be comforted, and part of him terrified of getting too close.

Like the sun breaking through the clouds, she turned and gave him a sad smile, holding her hand out to him. “Come here, my love.”

Yuri quickly padded over, curling up in her lap and allowing her long nails to brush through his hair. She smiled at him for a long time before looking back up at the mirror. She tapped her chest right over the light grey smudge of a mark that sat perfectly centered along her creamy white skin.

“You see this? Do you know what it is?”

“A soulmark,” Yuri obediently murmured.

Her nose crinkled in disgust. “It’s a lie. Do you know why it’s fading? Because your father doesn’t love me. Because I’m miserable. Because _soulmate_ means nothing.”

Yuri took it all in with wide eyes and a solemn expression. His mother hated her mark. Every time she looked at it, she was sad. She wasn’t one to hide things from her son or tell him happy lies. He appreciated that. It made him smarter than all the other naive children his age.

His mother gripped his face between her hands hard enough for him to wince, but he knew better than to complain. Her eyes were too bright and wild to speak against her. It was better to push through. Another lesson well taught.

“Listen to me,” she said, voice hard and insistent as her turquoise eyes bore into his own. “You will be smart. You won’t throw away your life for some stupid idea of love. You won’t be overlooked for someone else’s family. You won’t abandon your career. You won’t give up everything you love just because you got _pregnant_!”

Yuri flinched as nails dug into the sides of his face. His mother wasn’t okay, and he knew that. He also knew why it had happened. Everyone in the world was obsessed with finding their soulmates so they could live happily ever after. It didn’t work like that. His parents were a prime example of that. He didn’t blame her for hating her life — for hating him.

“You will succeed. _Tell me you will succeed_!” Her voice took on a tinge of anger and desperation.

“I’ll become the best in the world,” Yuri whispered his promise with all the conviction he could muster.

She smiled at him, her eyes filling with tears. “That’s my good boy. My perfect little boy.” She pulled him into her arms and he went happily, wanting nothing more than her love and approval.

A few months later when his father didn’t return, she sold the house and all their possessions in order to get enough funds to buy her way back into the life she had lost. She dropped Yuri off on his grandfather’s doorstep. She asked him not to hate her. He didn’t. He was just glad that she didn’t hate _him._

 

~*~

 

“If you push yourself too hard, you’ll hurt your body!” Victor’s cheerful voice echoed across the rink.

“Shut up,” Yuri snapped, doing his best to focus on where his feet were planted when he took off into his jump. Victor’s laughter carried around him like bells when Yuri fell.

“You’re too exhausted! Come on. Sit with me for a moment and I won’t tell Yakov that you snuck in here at night.”

“I can’t believe you’re blackmailing me when you’ve done the same thing,” Yuri spat as he pulled himself off the ice and skated over to where Victor was waiting.

“I still let myself rest,” Victor said, nose stuck in the air, his airy smile permanently in place. He flicked his long hair over his shoulder as he led the way to a bench. “Sit, sit.”

Yuri plopped down onto the bench with a frown, his chest heaving from his earlier exertion. He rubbed a towel on the back of his neck as he rummaged around for the water bottle in his bag. He hadn’t known Victor for long, but the man was terrible about spying on the others at the rink. Yuri couldn’t tell if Victor was scoping out the competition or if he was just nosy.

“You know…” Victor mused, his long legs stuck out on front of him and crossed at the ankles. “People only push themselves that hard when something’s on their mind.”

“A fucking medal is on my mind,” Yuri growled as he sucked down water.

“Such a foul mouth for such a young person.” Victor chuckled.

“You won’t be laughing when I enter seniors and take gold from you.”

“That would be lovely! I wish you the best of luck.”

“You’re so fucking weird.”

“I think you just cuss because there’s no adults here to tell you not to.” Victor tilted his head and smirked at Yuri. “How childish.”

“Fuck you.”

Victor laughed.

For a time, they sat in silence and Yuri was angry at how much his body was cooling down. If he sat any longer he’d have to warm up all over again. Still, Victor didn’t seem at all inclined to let Yuri leave just yet. Those long legs stayed put, blocking Yuri’s path back to the ice.

“What is it that you actually want?” Yuri snapped.

“Why don’t you tell me what’s bothering you.” Victor grinned.

“Nothing. I’m just focused.” Even to Yuri it sounded like a weak excuse.

“Hmm…” Victor tapped his lips with one finger. “Was someone being mean to you?”

Yuri rolled his eyes. “Like I care.”

“Then do you have a crush on someone?” Victor’s eyes lit up with excitement. “My first crush was sooo bad! Those dark eyes and—”

“Oh my god, shut up! No!” Yuri made sure to really play it up as he gagged. “I hate everyone. I’m never going to have a crush on anyone. Ever.”

Victor looked amused. “It’ll happen eventually.”

“No. I have more important things to focus on.”

“Just because you _have_ a crush doesn’t mean you have to do anything about it.”

“Would you stop— I do _not_ have a crush! Why is the whole damn world so focused on falling in love and getting married? There’s more important things in life!”

“So you don’t want to find your soulmate?”

“No! I don’t fucking care.”

Victor shrugged. “That’s fine.”

Yuri’s prepared rant died on his lips. Nobody had ever said that to Yuri. They always argued that he would change his mind when he grew up, or he’d understand when the time came. Nobody in the soulmate obsessed world had ever just shrugged it off.

Victor noticed Yuri’s stunned expression and snickered at it. “Don’t look so surprised. It’s not uncommon. Just because they don’t make movies or write novels about it doesn’t mean that people don’t often ignore their soulmark.”

“What about you?” Yuri asked out of morbid curiosity.

“My life is skating. I live to surprise, enchant, and inspire the whole world. It’s what I want. It’s what I’m made to do. So if my soulmate doesn’t want the same thing, then what’s the point?”

“Do you have a mark?”

“Yeah.”

“What happens if it fades before you retire?”

“Then it just fades.” Victor eyed Yuri suspiciously. “Is that what’s bothering you? Is yours starting to show up?”

It was, but Yuri was loath to admit it. He glared at Victor, which only made the teen grin with triumph over guessing correctly. Currently, Yuri’s mark was nothing more than an off colored smudge on his chest, but it would grow soon enough. He didn’t want it to. He had hated the idea of soulmates for as long as he could remember. Why would the universe decide to give him one? It made no sense. Why pair people up when they’re just destined to be miserable?

“Don’t worry about it,” Victor insisted. “You get to choose your own path in life. If that means not pursuing your soulmate, then so be it. That’s not going to stop you from finding happiness. There are no ill effects to losing your soulmark. Just do whatever you want. It’s _your_ life.”

“Yeah…”

Victor smirked at the sight of Yuri’s shoulders drooping. “You feel better?”

“Shut up.” But that time, Yuri’s words held little heat to them.

“C’mon. A full night’s sleep is part of your training.”

After that, one could almost call the two of them friends. Victor was annoying, but he was the person that Yuri least hated out of all the other skaters. They understood each other on a level that most couldn’t. It was comforting. There was finally someone in Yuri’s orbit that didn’t care about soulmates either.

 

~*~

 

Yuri ended his routine panting for breath. It was nice having an ice rink all to himself. Katsudon was lucky, even if he did squander such a blessing. It was also nice to get undivided attention from Victor for the routine. The routine was difficult and needed a lot of feedback, even if Victor was a complete pain in the ass and useless half the time.

As much as Yuri hated to admit it, Katsudon was a big help. “Your arms are getting too stiff in the second half. You should run it through a few times without the jumps to get muscle memory down.”

“Fine.” Yuri shook out his arms and rolled his neck. “Run the song again.”

He still didn’t much like Katsudon, so he wasn’t sure why they were even helping each other out as much as they were. Maybe it was because no matter what he said, Katsudon didn’t back down. He didn’t stop being genuinely nice. In fact, most of the people in Hasetsu were strangely nice. It was bordering on creepy.

Yuri’s legs burned as he pushed into the step sequence, but his mind was focused on his arms and all he had learned from ballet about proper positioning. Arms were important. They meant extra points and extra points were the difference between winning and losing. When he finished, he turned back to look at Katsudon for an assessment.

“I think maybe Victor was right when he chose this song for you.”

“What?” That wasn’t the response Yuri had expected, neither was the soft smile on Katsudon’s face.

“This is a routine meant for someone graceful and strong. It suits you.”

Yuri was a professional athlete. He’d spent most of his life under a hail of compliments from fans and polite words from peers. After a while, he just started shrugging it all off, only caring about what his coach and the judges said. He knew he was good, he just cared about getting better.

Which was why it was ridiculous that he was reacting to the compliment. His chest felt warm and heat tried to crawl up his neck and into his cheeks. He whirled around and skated further away to hide it. “Of course. I can do anything.”

“I believe that.”

“Maybe you can learn a thing or two.” Yuri took position again and the song started once more.

Stupid Katsudon and his stupid, weird need to be nice to everyone. It was frustrating how he was bashful around everyone, but would smirk at Yuri and act like they were old friends. Nothing Yuri said affected him, and frankly, that was unusual. There was always _some_ kind of reaction from people. But Katsudon’s decided lack of reaction grated on him more than anything.

Maybe it was some kind of psychological trick. Perhaps he could learn it and use it on others in the future. That would require him getting a hold of his anger, but it could happen. Maybe. At least a few times. Everyone else deserved what they got anyways.

Well, at least the pig was proving himself useful for something — new intimidation tactics and help tweaking Yuri’s routine. Yuri was going to take this season and show the world what he was made of, all other skaters be damned.

By the time he was finished, nobody would even be looking in Victor’s direction anymore.

 

~*~

 

Yuri threw his phone full force against the windows that poured sunlight into the rink. That fucking _liar_! Stupid Victor running off and getting all cozy with that Japanese pig! Stupid Yuri for believing that he and Victor had some kind of bond over the fact that they cared more about their career than the idea of love.

Yet there Victor was, giving up everything to go coach some wide-eyed fuck up. It wasn’t like Yuri didn’t understand. Katsuki had a step sequence ability and musicality most skaters could only dream of. And yeah, he looked like a damn angel while skating Victor’s routine in that video that went viral. But so what? He could pull it off in practice but fell apart during the actual competition.

Seeing the man that shared his name bomb so hard at the previous year’s Grand Prix Final had rubbed Yuri the wrong way. It grated on him like little else had ever done. Part of him had followed the man to the bathroom to yell just so he could get it out of his system. Another part of him, one he didn’t really like admitting to, had done it as a challenge. After all, Yuri always worked harder and had less nerves when he was pissed off.

And look where his act of charity got him! Fucking Victor Nikiforov running off to play house with the weak ass bastard. All heart mouthed and happy and waiting for a hug like they’d just accomplished something great when they were at a level of competition Victor hadn’t seen in years.

What the hell was so great about pretending that everything was sunshine and roses? Why were the two idiots even pursuing their mutual crushes on each other? Was it actually helping the either of them? No. Yuuri was still panicking at competition and Victor wasn’t skating at all!

Victor had given up his career for a whirlwind romance. Yuri knew where that ended — with a bottle of vodka and a life altering decision you couldn’t come back from. Victor didn’t even _have_ his mark anymore. If soulmates couldn’t overcome their stupid choices, then how could Victor and his fucking fanboy? They were both going to destroy themselves.

And then what? Where would that leave Yuri? The whole world would be looking at Yuri and thinking that he would never be as good as Victor because they never directly competed. It wouldn’t matter what his scores ended up being. And if Katsudon dropped out as well so they could go live in a cabin and adopt kids and be idiots, then what competition did that leave Yuri? JJ? Fuck that.

“What are you doing, Yuri?” Mila grinned as she propped herself up against the wall of the rink. “Oh, you saw the photo of Victor and the Japanese Yuuri, didn’t you? Jealous?”

Mila thought it was all some grand joke. It drove Yuri insane. He practically vibrated with rage. “Shut up, hag!”

 

~*~

 

Katsudon sat on the cold ground, happily eating the food that he’d so generously been given for his birthday. Pride swelled through Yuri as he watched, knowing that his grandfather’s cooking was the absolute best. If anyone could appreciate the masterpiece that was katsudon pirozhki, it was Katsudon himself.

They stayed silent for a while, just enjoying the quiet of the night air, away from the chaos of competition. It wasn’t uncomfortable, just an easy and peaceful moment between them. Yuri rarely experienced that with others. He didn’t let himself think too hard on why it was different with the present company.

“I regretted it.” Katsudon spoke quietly, staring into the steaming center of his meal. “I was always so busy with training and competition. I just didn’t have time to go back home and visit.”

Katsudon sighed and his breath fogged the air around him. “I couldn’t let Victor go through that. He cares about Makkachin so much… And if something had happened while Victor was with me, I never would have forgiven myself.”

“I didn’t know you had a dog,” Yuri muttered, unsure of what else to say. He hadn’t given much thought to Victor leaving, and maybe Victor’s pampering with his dog was a bit much, but Yuri understood what it meant to truly care about a pet.

“He was sweet.” Katsudon smiled in a sad and nostalgic way. “You probably think it’s stupid that I’m still so affected by my life while I’m out on the ice. I know it’s unprofessional. That was never more clear than at the Final last year. I thought it would be responsible of me to quit, but I just… I didn’t _want_ to.”

“Good.”

Katsudon’s wide eyes snapped up to meet Yuri’s. “What?”

“Good. If you want to skate, then you should skate. If you’re struggling to stay focused on the ice, then that is something your _coach_ should be helping with. Maybe you should get a better one!”

After a long baffled look, a smile slowly bloomed on Yuuri’s face, followed by a laugh that sounded almost musical in their little cocoon of winter. Something warm flooded Yuri’s chest and he looked away. Honestly, the two idiots were way too naive for being so old. Such lessons had been taught to Yuri _ages_ ago. What the hell were they doing?

“Thank you, Yurio.” The way the nickname was said… Yuri found he didn’t hate it nearly as much. “I think I’ve been waiting a long time to hear that.”

Yuri was pleased and the feeling of it left his fingertips tingling. He struggled to keep the smile off of his face so it wouldn’t give him away. “Yeah, well, someone needed to give you a wakeup call.”

Katsudon laughed. “I’m grateful to have you around.”

The freezing air bit at Yuri’s face, turning his cheeks red. Very red. It was really cold, after all.

 

~*~

 

“You have a soulmark?” Yuri asked in surprise.

“Hm? Oh, yeah.” Otabek pulled up his sleeve. “It’s nothing that exciting.”

On the inside of Otabek’s wrist was a flesh colored patch. It was common for those with a public image to keep their soulmarks hidden. It prevented rabid fans from getting tattoos and attempting to muscle their way into their idol’s pants. Yuri kept one over his chest whenever there was a chance that he could be filmed.

Having one on a wrist would be annoying. At least Yuri could wear a hoodie and feel confident that it wouldn’t be seen. Otabek’s could be photographed by paparazzi at any time, so he’d have to keep it covered a lot. It explained the thick gloves and long sleeves to help keep it hidden.

Otabek pulled back the patch part way to show a black design crawling across his skin. It was dark, but not all that bold in color. There was a definite design to it, but it wasn’t what one would call intricate. The knowledge of Yuri’s own mark made his chest feel like it was burning. He hated his mark and hated how it kept getting darker over the years.

“So you have a ‘best friend’ soulmate,” Yuri said as he sat back in his chair. He felt strangely disappointed.

Otabek shrugged as he smoothed the patch back into place. “I suppose. I don’t have one over my chest.”

“Lucky…” Yuri muttered and took a sip of his drink, thinking back to a few hours prior when Otabek had asked to be friends. “So why did you want to be friends if you have a soulmark?”

That earned Yuri a very confused look. “A person can have more than one friend. I haven’t found the matching mark to this, but it wouldn’t matter if I did. I’d still want to be friends with you.”

Yuri stirred his drink as he thought about that. He hadn’t given much thought to the platonic soulmates out there. It seemed like less of a life ruining commitment, but Yuri’s knee jerk reaction was to presume that it would still have negative consequences — particularly against him. Assuming it meant anything at all. Maybe Otabek and his soulmate wouldn’t be able to stay friends if he stayed busy in his career.

“Do you want to find them?” Yuri asked.

“Sure. Why not?”

“What if they feel ignored because you’re training all the time?”

“None of my other friends feel like that. It should be fine.”

“Mm…” Yuri cut his eyes away to gaze out at the busy street beyond the window.

“Do you not like soulmates?”

Yuri sighed turned back to look at the other man. “It’s just stupid, ya know? There is no perfect match. Things still fall apart and then you have nothing to go back to because you’ve sacrificed everything for this one person.”

“Just because you’re soulmates doesn’t mean everything is easy.” Otabek looked confident in that assessment. “My grandparents are soulmates. They still argued and struggled at times, but they did what was necessary to work it out and make sure they were living a life that made them happy. Their marks are the darkest and most detailed I’ve ever seen in my life.”

That wasn’t Yuri’s experience. It was either people like Georgi going on about how perfect and romantic it all was, or there were people like Yuri’s mother who had seen the truth behind the fairy tale lies. “I just don’t understand why people would give up their whole lives for someone only to realize later that it makes them miserable.”

“I think that’s a broad statement. Everyone’s different and has different goals.” Otabek looked over at some of the other people filling up the cafe. “We’re probably the only two people in this room that are aiming to win gold in ice skating. That doesn’t mean their dreams are somehow less than ours.”

“I guess…”

“Perhaps you’re _too_ much a soldier if competition is all you can understand.” Otabek smirked and Yuri found himself smiling in return.

“Maybe I like the that way.”

“Ha! Well, I must like you that way, too.”

Yuri grinned. This having a friend thing wasn’t so bad.

 

~*~

 

The music blaring in Yuri’s earbuds blocked out whatever Victor was saying to Yakov. Probably inviting them to dinner or some shit. Yuri just wanted to stay focused on his upcoming routine. The free skate was about to start and he was determined to win.

However, when Yakov started freaking out and Victor had that… smile, Yuri became curious and pulled his earbuds out. Victor rarely wore that smile, but Yuri had known the man long enough to know what it was: Victor pretending things were okay. Yuri had heard that Katsudon’s free skate had gone well. Broken a record, just like him. Why was Victor anything other than ecstatic?

“Ah, for now I’ll return to the Russian Nationals.”

Yuri gaped, frozen in place with his hands still up by his ears. Victor was coming back? He was skating? Did that mean he wasn’t going to coach anymore? Was Katsudon quitting? What the hell? If Victor was coming back and Katsudon was leaving, what did that mean to their gross and sappy love life?

“Hey, does this mean Katsudon is retiring?” Yuri blurted before he could help himself. He had to know. It was driving him crazy. He gripped at Victor’s jacket, desperate to hear the man deny it. Katsudon was finally getting over himself on the rink. Was it Yuri’s fault? Had Katsudon taken Yuri’s words to heart at the last Grand Prix? Was Victor the only reason Yuuri even competed this year? What about their moment near Yuuri’s birthday? Had it meant nothing?

“That’s his decision,” Victor said with that smile, his voice painfully serene. They looked at each other, feeling the weight of that decision. They were both blaming themselves for Yuuri’s retirement. But if Yuuri wasn’t quitting because he wanted to be with Victor, then… “He said he’d decide after the Grand Prix Final was over.”

Yuri watched in shock as Victor’s shoulders drooped and his eyes filled with pain. He took a step forward and wrapped his arms around Yuri, pulling them close. Yuri froze, unsure of what to do, unsure of everything. Victor didn’t want it. He didn’t want Yuuri to quit. And Yuuri… Was Yuuri trying to force Victor back onto the ice? Was that why Victor had sought out Yakov to announce his plans immediately?

They both loved each other in the grossest and sappiest way possible and Yuri had hated that with a passion. He hated that it meant they were going to give up their dreams and their career for the idea of a perfect life. Yet, there they were, sad and ruined because they didn’t want the other to stop skating.

 _They didn’t want to stop skating._ Was that how chosen love worked? Maybe. Maybe it was because they weren’t actually soulmates. Maybe they had more options and could have everything they wanted. If only they would pull their heads out of their asses.

Anger welled up inside of Yuri and burned through his limbs. He’d force the damn pig to stay. He’d beat him and make him regret ever contemplating leaving the ice. They had the option to have it all and they were trying to throw it all away. Why? Because they were _idiots._

Maybe Yuri would never understand the appeal of them being so lovesick, but he _did_ understand the need to stay on the ice. And so help him, he’d do everything in his power to make sure they continued doing what they loved. Yuri had already seen enough heartbreak caused by abandoned dreams to last a lifetime.

 

~*~

 

Yuuri and Victor twirled around the dance floor, laughing and teasing one another. There were people monitoring alcohol intake for the both of them to prevent another incident like the one that happened the year previous. Despite that, Yuuri had still challenged Yuri to another dance off, and like a man possessed, Yuri had participated.

Now he sat at a table, sipping a stolen flute of champagne, and enjoying the feeling of being slightly buzzed. He couldn’t take his eyes off of Yuuri’s unusually carefree face, the way he glowed, the pink in his cheeks. Warmth pooled in Yuri’s stomach and he blamed the booze.

It had been decided that Yuuri would continue skating and Victor would skate and coach at the same time. To facilitate that, Yuuri was moving to Russia and joining the team. Yuri would start seeing them both on a regular basis once more. A few people complained that Victor was taking on too much, particularly Yakov, but everyone else just seemed happy for the couple.

A smile tugged at Yuri’s lips and he clenched his jaw to prevent it. Perhaps he was drinking more than he thought. He had no reason to be happy about the two idiots interrupting his practice rink. Hell, Mila and Georgi were enough of a distraction and annoyance.

But knowing that Yuuri was going to continue skating, and knowing that he was happy to join the Russian group to do so, had Yuri filled with pride and satisfaction. He had skated his ass off, and it had worked. Yuuri was staying, and Yuri had played a role in that.

Victor spun Yuuri around and into a dip. Yuuri’s hair swayed and his face lit up with joy. His eyes caught Yuri’s and gave a wink and a laugh before he was pulled back up into Victor’s arms. Yuri hid his reaction by taking another sip from his glass, hoping that his hand covered the pink blooming on his cheeks.

There was just something about happy, carefree Yuuri. Something captivating and magnetic. It made a person want to be involved, join in on whatever crazy idea he had next, get swept up in the moment and forget about all else. Even Yuri had a hard time resisting and as much as he told himself that he should hate it, he couldn’t really bring himself to mind it all that much.

“Yurio!” Warm brown eyes locked onto his and he couldn’t even find it in himself to be embarrassed for staring. “Come dance with me!”

For the second year in a row, Yuri was pulled into their inane partying for most of the night. He told everyone, loudly, how put out he was over it. Deep inside of himself, he laughed with them as they all swayed and spun to the music.

 

~*~

 

Yuri watched Victor and Yuuri across the room. They were so _comfortable_ together. The way they laughed and had that simple closeness that Yuri immediately realized he didn't have with anyone. Victor chuckled and placed a hand on Yuuri’s shoulder. Yuuri looked up at Victor as if Victor had hung the stars.

Yuri noticed that he felt differently about them than he had in the past. Seeing the two of them like that no longer made him feel angry or betrayed. It almost made him feel… jealous, maybe. But what did he have to be jealous about?

No, no… he promised himself long ago he would never have a soulmate, and that wasn't about to change. At that moment, maybe it was just that love didn't seem like the worst thing in the world; as long as it never interfered with the bigger picture, of course.

Yuri continued watching the pair. The empty feeling in his gut just didn't go away. He took a sip of his water and walked away, accompanied only by his thoughts. Or at least, that was the plan.

“Yurio!”

Yuri stumbled to a stop, not turning around, but also not hurrying to walk out of sight. Yuuri ran over with a smile on his face, with Victor trailing close behind.

“Katsudon,” Yuri mumbled, but it held no bite to the word anymore.

“We’re going out to eat tonight and we decided on that restaurant you really like. You should join us.”

“Yes, Yura!” Victor dropped an arm around Yuri’s shoulders. “Come keep two old men company.”

Yuri rolled his eyes. “Could you make it sound any less boring?” Despite that, his stomach fluttered. Though he would never admit it, he was craving attention. Lately he felt… lonely. Perhaps he should start texting Otabek more often, though he didn’t want to appear childish and bothersome.

At least around the pair of idiots, he looked like the most mature of the group.

“Come on,” Yuuri grinned. “It’s on me.”

“Fine, if it’s free.”

Victor laughed. “We shouldn’t have to always pay you for the pleasure of your company.”

“Shut up, my time is valuable.”

Yuuri smiled in that soft way that left something inside Yuri feeling defensive. He didn’t trust such affectionate gestures, especially if they were aimed at him. There was no reason for them. Such looks should be shared with those that were dumb enough to want them.

And yet, such a look had Yuri’s feet moving on their own. It left him not shrugging off Victor’s arm. He allowed the two to pull him outside without complaint. Surrounded by smiles and laughter, they led him to dinner. Yuri pretended that it didn’t leave him feeling warm inside.


	2. Chapter 2

“Paper, rock, scissors! Noooo!” Yuuri wailed.

“HaHA!” Victor crowed and did an idiotic dance at his victory. “Off! Off!”

Yuuri pouted as he drunkenly struggled to rip one of his socks off as Victor downed another drink. Yuri watched them across the room with disdain. They made him never want to drink, which was rather anti-Russian of him, in all honesty…

“They look like they’re having fun!” Yuuko grinned as she sat down next to Yuri, her cheeks pink from the alcohol she’d consumed as well, though she wasn’t nearly as drunk.

“They look like idiots,” Yuri mumbled and sipped on his drink. He wasn’t supposed to have anything in it other than juice, but he’d slipped in just enough to make him warm.

Yuuko giggled and bumped her shoulder against his playfully. “I’m glad to see all of you back here! The Ice Castle is doing so much business now, and it’s going to be even better after your show!”

It wasn’t really a show, it was just an exhibition skate that wouldn’t normally be part of the off season tour. Still, Victor and Yuuri were determined to squeeze in the time for it, and they had invited everyone they could to join. Minami Kenjiro was supposed to show up in the morning, whoever _that_ was, and Victor had strong armed Mila into coming along as well. Phichit Chulanont in all his selfie taking glory was running around the inn and taking pictures of everything. Yuri avoided him like the plague.

Victor and Yuuri collapsed onto the floor in a fit of giggles, their lips finding each other’s over and over again in quick little kisses. Yuri simultaneously hated it and couldn’t stop watching. Maybe he just needed to get laid. A little physical attention would do him good.

“Awww,” Yuuko cooed. “They’re so cute together! They remind me of when I first got together with Takeshi.”

Yuri scrunched up his face. That was not a mental image he wanted.

“I was so worried for Yuuri when we were kids.” Yuuko had a problem with rambling when she was drunk. Yuri typically didn’t listen to most of it. “Takeshi and I watched our soulmarks grow right in front of each other, you know? But Yuuri was so worried about his showing up. I think that was one of the reasons he focused so much on skating. He was lonely.”

Yuri didn’t want to think about how much that related to him. He stared into his glass and the dwindling liquid contained in it. There was not near enough alcohol for any kind of self reflection.

“Even after it started showing up, it was so faint at first. He threw himself into skating more.”

Yuri perked up. Katsudon had a soulmark? Since when? He didn’t know about it. Did Victor? Hell, those two were so far up each other’s ass there was no way Victor didn’t know about it. Yuri couldn’t stop thinking about the implications of that. Did Victor not worry about the fact that Yuuri had one? Had Yuuri given his up as well for the sake of his career? He hadn’t seemed the type.

“I had to buy patches for him once after he came back from Detroit — right before Victor came. Yuuri didn’t want people to know he was back in town.” Yuuko giggled. “You two ruined _that_ plan! I’m glad you did, though.” She winked.

“So he still has it?” Yuri asked, curious despite himself.

“Of course, silly!” Yuuko grinned. “It’s darker than ever now, I bet. I’d love to see it, but he’s too shy to show me. I bet it’s beautiful now that he’s found Victor.” She sighed dreamily as she watched the two idiots across the room.

Yuri’s mind was in overdrive. Yuuko thought that Victor and Yuuri were soulmates. They were _not._ Victor didn’t even have to wear patches anymore. He did occasionally to throw off his fans and to avoid questions since he wore them in his youth. However, Yuri had personally seen the last smudge of grey in the locker rooms at Yakov’s rink. That had been years ago. Once a mark was gone, there was no getting it back.

The night progressed with drunken shenanigans, but Yuri could barely focus on it. He kept thinking about the fact that Yuuri had a soulmark. Surely it wasn’t that big of a deal? They had _chosen_ each other, and giving up soulmates was common in the sports world. Perhaps Yuuri’s mark was already fading away.

Besides, why did it matter? They were two idiots who fawned all over each other. What did it matter if they fell apart eventually? Wasn’t that inevitable? Except, a tiny part of Yuri didn’t want that to be the case. He hated himself for thinking it, but it was nice to see them happy and helping each other accomplish their goals.

_Fuck. I sound like a sap._

Yuuko rambled on about this and that, but Yuri had long ago stopped paying attention. The night moved on and people drank even more, occasionally passing out on the floor in pile of limbs. Takeshi eventually came to find his wife and the two of them giggled over each other like school kids. Thankfully, they left to another room.

Yuri stayed glued to his seat, glass long empty, and stared at Yuuri across the room. Perhaps Yuri was a little tipsy and it was why he found himself so obsessed with the need to know. As much as he hated admitting it to himself, he was a little protective of the two of them. He wanted them to stay happy, as unreasonable as that desire was in his own mind.

He would feel better if he could just _see_ it and know that it was fading. It wasn’t something he could outright ask the either of them. Maybe if he went into the onsen with them… But no, that would mean his own patch wouldn’t stay in place because of all the steam and water. Yuri tapped a finger on his glass in agitation as he thought it over.

Just before he could talk himself into going to bed, Victor ran off somewhere in a drunken pout, leaving Yuuri mumbling and giggling on the floor. He was wearing only his underwear and a tie around his head. The rest of his clothes were in a messy pile under his temple that he was clutching like a pillow. It wasn’t long before he was snoring.

Everyone else in the room was either passed out, gone, or distracted by the idiotic games they were playing. Yuri sucked in a deep breath and told himself that nobody would know the difference. Setting his glass to the side, he stood up and crossed the room in order to crouch by the sleeping drunkard. He glanced around nervously, but nobody was paying attention.

Yuri focused on the patch covering Yuuri’s chest. It was wrinkled in one corner, no longer sticking because of sweat and spilled sake. He reached out and pulled at it, admitting to himself that it was an invasion of privacy and he didn’t care. The patch came off easily, ready to separate from Yuuri’s sweaty skin. It pulled up about halfway before fluttering back into place.

The entire world had dropped out from under Yuri’s feet. He couldn’t breathe, his fingers were numb, and his ears were ringing. He didn’t have to look at the entire mark to know what it was. He’d seen that exact design, dark and curling and intricate, a thousand times before.

He saw it every day, in fact. Every time he looked in the mirror.

Yuri scrambled to his feet and ran from the room, shoving stumbling drunken people out of his way as he went. He charged out into the cool night air, desperate to get as far away as possible. The air felt too heavy and his chest felt too tight.

The universe was mocking him.

Why Yuuri? Why him of all people? Yuuri and Victor were _happy_ together. Yuri had decided to give up his mark just like Victor did! Why now, of all times? Why was it so detailed? Was Yuri just supposed to force his way in between the lovebirds and cause the world to hate him? Fate made terrible, horrible choices. There was a reason Yuri ignored it.

Stumbling to a stop, Yuri found himself gazing out over the inky waters, his hands gripping the railing that overlooked it. He curled forward, breathing hard as he gazed at a darkness too deep for his eyes to penetrate. He felt sick.

The image of his mother flashed through his mind, broken and miserable, nails tracing her fading mark. A strange sort of calm settled over Yuri. It was exactly that reason he’d decided to give up on soulmates. It was why Victor was so happy. He’d _chosen_ Yuuri instead of suffering the fate of his mark.

Nothing had changed since then. Yuri could still ignore it and let it fade. Yuuri would stay enraptured by Victor until they were both unmarked and focused only on each other. It wasn’t like Yuri was interested in anyone at the moment. All he cared about was his career.

So, yes, there was nothing to worry about. There was no secret soulmate waiting to ruin the disgustingly radiant couple. Yuri would stay out of the way, the two idiots would live happily ever after, and everyone would have what they wanted.

Yuri took a deep breath and looked up at the stars. It was stupid to get as upset as he had. The marks meant nothing. They could all still live their lives without interruption. One day, Yuri might want an actual relationship. When that day came, he’d find someone that actually wanted him.

Satisfied at last, Yuri made his way back to the inn.

 

~*~

 

They all trained harder year after year. Yuri’s mark grew darker.

Yuuri and Victor retired together, occasionally showing up to help coach and support Yuri as he dominated the world of men’s figure skating. Yuri’s mark grew more detailed.

The idiots finally got married in a grand spectacle of a wedding that security had to block the press from sneaking into. Yuri was Victor’s best man. He gave a heartfelt toast to the two husbands that had Yuuri in tears and Victor smiling hard enough to hurt himself. There was another drunken dance off during the reception. Yuri’s mark grew bigger.

Often Yuri was able to convince himself that the mark grew because he was supporting his soulmate’s happiness. The more content Yuuri was, the more the mark solidified. That meant Yuri was doing the right thing. It meant they were all destined to be exactly what they wanted to be.

Sometimes, however, on dark and selfish nights, Yuri would remember how lonely he was. Watching the two sappy newlyweds showed Yuri everything that he was growing to desire. He’d told himself that all he wanted was his career, but so had Victor. And there Victor was, looking like his life was complete and had never been before.

Victor had said there was something missing from his life that Yuuri had been able to fill. Yuri was old enough now to understand what that hollow ache was. Unlike Victor, Yuri recognized it from the start.

He hated it. Why did he have to be lonely? Being on his own was all he’d ever needed. If the damn mark wasn’t on his chest, would it even matter to him? Yet again, the unwanted mark was ruining his life, giving him feelings he didn’t want. It also ruined any attempts at Yuri dating.

What few people managed to get through his high standards and prickly attitude would turn tail and run once they found out that Yuri had such a defined mark. He couldn’t blame them. It made him appear to be a risk. Who wanted to stay with someone that was so close to connecting with their soulmate?

Yuri couldn’t bring himself to explain that his soulmate was ecstatically married and Yuri drifted around that union like they were the sun and he was a dead planet. It made him look needy. It made it appear that he was hung up on the mark that stained both their chests. He wasn’t. He just wanted them to have what Yuri never would.

Otabek must have noticed Yuri’s spiraling mood since he started trying to visit more often. It was a nice distraction at first. But sometimes, when Yuri was feeling that black emptiness radiating out from his mark and Yuuri was smiling with such unabashed joy at a doting Victor, there was nothing in the world that could blind Yuri to his problems.

Yuri stood in his room, swaying on his feet as he stared into the mirror over his dresser. Otabek had gone to acquire more snacks to help soak up all the alcohol Yuri had been rapidly consuming. Otabek had found his soulmate. It was casually mentioned and Otabek’s friendship with Yuri had not suffered because of it. Otabek seemed pleased with who it was and they got along well.

It was just a friendship mark. It didn’t affect Yuri. It wasn’t going to hurt Otabek. Perhaps if Yuri repeated that enough times, he’d believe it.

Yuri struggled out of his shirt, his drunken limbs barely obeying him. He threw the offending garment across the room once it was finally removed. He looked blurrily back into the mirror at his mark. He’d been trying to ignore it for weeks, which turned out to be a mistake. He could easily notice the new distinct patterns that had formed in the interim. The mark was so dark that it took on a blue tinge in places.

Pale fingers ran along the deep, deep black of the mark. It felt like his normal skin. There was no ridge to the design, no noticeable difference in texture. It was just… there. Mocking him. Unable to be removed or eradicated. And he’d tried. _Oh_ , how he’d tried. But no matter how much space Yuri gave to the world’s sappiest husbands, the mark refused to leave.

He scratched at it. If he peeled his skin right off, left nothing but a bright pink scar behind, would the mark never return? His nails dug in a little more. Would his own blood finally get the point across? Would it wash the offending design away? He brought his other hand up, digging bright pink lines along his skin.

Every pass of his nails left a slash through the mark. It marred it, changed it, hid a small piece of it from view. In a way, it was satisfying. He didn’t want it. He wanted to have control of his own fate. It was a lesson he’d learned as a child. If fate wouldn’t listen, then Yuri would just have to do it himself.

He didn’t hear it when he began to scream. He didn’t feel it when tears rolled down his cheeks. All he could focus on was the bright, satisfying pain of the mark being slowly blotted out by deep welts criss crossing over his chest. Blood began to pack under his fingernails, a sign that he was succeeding at his task. With every rip into his flesh, it felt a little easier to breathe.

“YURI!”

Someone grabbed his wrists and he fought them off, desperate to keep going. Why did everyone always insist that his mark was something precious instead of something horrifying? He _hated_ it! He just wanted it gone!

It took him longer than he cared to admit to realize it was Otabek wrestling him onto the bed. Yuri’s hands were crossed around his stomach and pinned at his waist. Otabek’s muscle bound arms held Yuri tight, keeping him pressed into the mattress. Legs were wrapped around his longer ones, immobilizing him. Yuri thrashed and shouted things he couldn’t even remember. It was probably something hurtful, something that would finally force Otabek to walk away.

Except the warm body behind him never moved. Eventually, Yuri wore himself out and allowed himself to be held, a hand gently combing through his sweat damp hair. Yuri sobbed and Otabek offered tissues and a shoulder to cry on. He didn’t leave.

When at last Yuri agreed to lie still as his wounds were treated, he was finally able to speak with coherency. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.

Otabek paused and looked at Yuri’s red, blotchy face before applying another bandaid. “Do you want to tell me what’s going on?”

“I hate soulmarks…”

“I gathered that.”

Yuri gave a weak laugh, pressing his eyes closed tight. “I never wanted this. I knew it would make me miserable. I was right… Why won’t it go away?”

“Do you know who it is?” Otabek asked that question as carefully as he possibly could.

“Unfortunately.”

“Why don’t you talk to them about it instead of doing this all on your own?” He packed away the rest of the first aid kit and set it aside. “Maybe things will be different than you think—”

“He’s blissfully married,” Yuri cut in, dull eyes meeting Otabek’s in time to watch them fill with remorse.

“I’m sorry…” Otabek murmured.

Yuri shook his head with a watery laugh. “Don’t be. It’s what I wanted.”

Otabek stretched out onto the bed and pulled Yuri close in a tight embrace. Yuri trembled at the feeling of it, his newfound fear of being alone settling in his gut. Otabek had always been there, no matter what. But would he continue to be?

“We’re best friends, right?” Yuri whispered.

“Yes.”

“But what about your—”

“Always.”

Yuri sniffled and nodded and curled up into his best friend. At least he could rely on Otabek to stick around. That chasm of loneliness didn’t seem so great when Otabek was there, making such promises. Yuri could only hope that when the other man returned home, he would still be able to hold on to those reassurances.

Otabek stayed the night in Yuri’s bed and Potya curled up over their heads. It was the first time Yuri had slept well in months.

 

~*~

 

It was obvious that Yuuko was trying not to laugh at Yuri’s panicked voice. “This isn’t funny!” he snapped.

“Oh, Yuri. This isn’t the first time Victor’s done something stupid and caused a fight.”

“Exactly! Why are they fighting so much?!”

“They’re not,” Yuuko soothed. “In fact, I’d say they aren’t fighting enough.”

“But they’re supposed to love each other!” Yuri paced his room, phone held tight to his ear.

“That doesn’t mean fights won’t happen. Listen, you know me and Takeshi are soulmates, right?”

“Yeah.” That wasn’t the point, though! Victor and Yuuri were special because they _weren’t_ soulmates. Nothing Yuuko said would have any prevalence to the issue of Yuuri kicking Victor out of the house for the night.

“When the girls were about six months old, our marks started to fade.”

Yuri came to an abrupt stop. “What?”

“Takeshi felt like his life wasn’t working out how he wanted and his dreams were forgotten. I was overwhelmed by three kids and didn’t feel like I had enough support. It was a rough time.”

“But you’re still…”

“We went to a marriage counselor,” Yuuko happily informed. “We had always told each other our deepest secrets since we were kids, but at some point, we stopped. We had forgotten how to communicate with one another. The counselor had to teach us how to talk and negotiate more effectively.”

Talk? What would just talking about it do? “What about your marks?”

“They grew again.” Yuri could hear the smile in Yuuko’s voice. “They ended up bigger than when we got married.”

“But… didn’t he have to sacrifice his dreams…”

“It wasn’t about giving up on something he loved, it was about coming to terms with how his life had changed. No matter what we want in life, it doesn’t always bring us joy. We have to work hard in order to get what we want. Just because I enjoy skating, doesn’t mean I would enjoy it at your level of competition. The hard work you put into it is amazing, but I would be miserable doing that.”

Yuri hadn’t thought about it like that. He’d sacrificed a lot for his career, worked himself to the bone, and was proud of all he’d accomplished. It was hard, painful, and he’d often entertained the idea of quitting only to pull through later. He’d never considered that relationships would work the same way. Weren’t relationships just supposed to be easy and perfect, especially with a soulmate?

“If you have to work that hard, what’s the point of having a soulmate?” Yuri asked.

“I think soulmarks are there as a signpost to help guide us in the right direction. They teach us lessons and show us when we’re not being all that smart about things. Just because the movies tell you that soulmates means everything is perfect, doesn’t mean that it’s true.”

“But what about people without soulmarks? Is there no fixing it?” After all, Yuuko didn’t know that Victor wasn’t Yuuri’s soulmate.

“I think people can be in love with or without a soulmark. Like I said, it’s just a guide to teach us how to be better partners. Instead of thinking of it like soulmates are better at love, think of it like soulmates need a little more help.” Yuuko giggled. “I know for sure me and Takeshi need a little extra help. The same goes for Yuuri and Victor. They both have some pretty strong personalities.”

Yuri sat down heavily on the edge of his bed. “So you think that people who choose each other have an easier time in their relationships than those who are fated?”

“Everyone’s different,” Yuuko hedged. “I think every relationship has to be worked on, regardless of whether there’s a mark to be had. After all, soulmarks prove that to us by fading. We can’t become complacent in reaching for the things we want in life, including love.”

“So… they’ll be okay?”

“Of course! Yuuri knows the value of hard work. Sometimes he just has to beat that into Victor’s head.” She laughed.

It made sense. Victor had only ever worked on his career, never his interpersonal relationships. He was just as bad about them as Yuri was. Usually Yuuri had an infinite amount of patience to guide Victor in the right direction. Apparently, that patience occasionally ran out in favor of a hard lesson.

Yuri took his first full breath of air since he’d received the text from Victor asking if he could crash on Yuri’s couch. Something about Yuuri and Victor possibly breaking up terrified Yuri like nothing else could. Like, somehow, all of Yuri’s suffering would go to waste if they broke up. And worse, Yuri felt like the world would fall apart if the two dumbasses couldn’t make their very obvious love for each other work. Talking to Yuuko had certainly helped. He felt better prepared to deal with it when it happened from now on.

He sent a text back. _Why don’t you pull your head out of your ass and listen to whatever it is your husband needs?_

 _Yurio, you’re so meeean! :-(_ was the response.

 

~*~

 

They would fight. Yuri would intervene.

They would fight. Yuri would force them to talk it out.

They would fight. Yuri would help fix it.

Over and over again, Yuri gave more and more of himself to someone else’s relationship. No, not just someone’s. His soulmate’s. Yuri was so determined to make sure that Yuuri was happy. Often when Victor would lean against Yuri with gratitude and Yuuri would throw his arms around Yuri in relief, it felt like a piece of their happiness absorbed into Yuri.

He was living through them. That probably wasn’t all that healthy, but what other options did he have? Obviously his damn “signpost” of a soulmark was telling him that he was doing the right thing since it _kept getting bigger._

Whenever Yuri couldn’t handle his own emotions anymore, which was often, he’d throw himself into his training. It shouldn’t have been surprising that he ended up hurting himself because of it. The prescription of staying off his ankle for six months had sounded like a death sentence at the time. Yuuri, damned intuitive, understanding Yuuri, had immediately gone to Yuri’s side and stayed for a solid two weeks to make sure Yuri had help as he got used to the crutches and his new routine.

It was both a blessing and a curse.

Yuuri walked over to the couch and placed a steaming bowl down onto the table next to Yuri before standing there in nervous anticipation. Yuri gaped at the contents of what he’d just been brought. He’d insisted that he didn’t need to be waited on hand and foot, but Yuuri had been dead set on cooking. Yuri had expected something Japanese, not…

“Is this zharkoye?” Yuri asked, picking up the bowl and curling it into his chest, taking a deep breath of the savory stew. Chunks of beef, potatoes, and carrots cooked in a thick broth filled the room with a scent that had the tension in Yuri’s muscles releasing.

“You mentioned once that your grandfather always made it for you when you were sick. I know you’re not technically _sick_ , but I called him and asked for the recipe. I thought it would help you feel better. I hope I made it right.”

Emotion pressed against Yuri’s chest, and he set his jaw in order to keep it in. Why did Yuuri have to be so nice? “It smells amazing,” he mumbled.

Yuuri beamed. “Good! I’m glad!”

Things like that kept happening. On cold nights, Yuuri would throw a fluffy blanket in the drier before wrapping it around Yuri’s shoulders. Since he was taking care of Potya now, the cat had decided that she liked Yuuri and would curl up in his lap just as easily as Yuri’s. Even when Yuri’s enforced immobility sent him into fits of anger, Yuuri always found a way to point out the behavior without getting offended or starting a fight.

It was all so very… domestic. Yuri was overwhelmed by it. Having such a thing dangled in front of him when he was still struggling with his own feelings of loneliness… It hurt. Yuri had convinced himself for a long time that he just wanted his soulmate to be happy without him. But now, with Yuuri’s full attention focused on him, such convictions seemed like a flimsy lie.

“Are you sick?” Yuuri asked one night, his hands descending onto Yuri’s cheeks.

Yuri batted the arms away in a near panic. “Fuck off, I’m fine!”

Yuuri just clicked his tongue in disapproval. “You’re more prone to infection while you’re healing that break, you know. You’ll heal slower if you get sick.”

It wasn’t that he was sick, he just couldn’t stop his mind from wandering as he watched Yuuri in his home. It left Yuri with a near permanent guilty blush. He mumbled something dismissive, but of course, it didn’t get rid of Yuuri who sat on the edge of the couch where Yuri was sprawled.

“Let me check your temperature.”

Yuri was going to refuse, but the words died on his lips as Yuuri bent down and their faces grew close. Yuri stopped breathing, eyes wide as he froze in place. He should move, should stop whatever was happening, but he couldn’t. Then Yuuri’s face tilted up and soft lips pressed against his forehead. His ears burned like fire and his fingers twitched with the need to reach up and yank Yuuri closer.

“Hmm…” Yuuri pulled back with a contemplative look. “You’re a little warm, but it doesn’t seem too bad. I’ll get you a blanket and keep an eye on it.”

“Okay…”

 _Keep an eye on it._ That meant Yuuri would lean in close again, press his lips to skin once more, surround Yuri with his soft scent. Yuri should refuse, should kick the damned man out of the house. He should… but all he wanted was to feel Yuuri’s soft caress again, to be doted on and cared for, to curl up on the couch with Potya and watch shitty movies.

Yuuri’s long fingers brushed a strand of blonde hair behind Yuri’s ear. A gentle smile shown down on Yuri, so peaceful that it made his chest ache at the sight of it. He was enraptured. Logic screamed at him that he should hate that. He needed to reject it and send Yuuri back to his one true love. Yuri never wanted to care about his soulmate like this.

Never like this.

Not when it could hurt so much.

And he knew that when Yuuri inevitably left to go back home and live his perfect little life with Victor, it would rip Yuri apart. He _knew_ that. But right there and right then, Yuri couldn’t stop himself from leaning over and resting his head on Yuuri’s chest. He reveled in the feeling of Yuuri’s fingers combing through his hair and soothing him with soft words.

“Don’t worry,” Yuuri shushed. “You’ll be back on the ice in no time.”

The ice… It was all he’d ever strived for.

Yet nothing could compare to the feeling of being in Yuuri’s arms. This must have been what Victor was talking about, the reason why he risked his flawless career in order to chase after it. How could he not? Yuri understood now with blinding clarity. The knot in his chest that had been there so long he no longer noticed it relaxed under the warm glow of Yuuri’s affection.

Eventually, Yuuri would leave, the knot would tighten once more, and Yuri wasn’t sure how he was going to survive it.


	3. Chapter 3

Yuuri grabbed his coat and hurried out the door. He texted Victor furiously on the cab ride to his destination, upset at the new turn of events. _Why does the bar on third have us down as emergency contacts? How often has Yurio gotten that drunk there? Why didn’t you tell me this was going on?_

The ankle injury was well on its way to healing, but the doctors insisted on Yuri not training for at least another couple of months or else it would just fracture again. It was obvious that he was upset and frustrated by that, but Yuuri didn’t think it was bad enough for Yuri to be regularly getting blackout drunk at the bar near the rink.

And for Victor to have _known_ and kept it secret? Yuuri was furious. His husband was in _so_ much trouble once was back in town. Even if Yuri had made Victor promise to keep it quiet, there was a limit. Sure, don’t tell the whole rink about it, but at least tell Yuuri.

The drive to the bar was almost enough time to calm down, but seeing Yuri at last brought back all of Yuuri’s whirling emotions. The owner had brought them to the back where Yuri was curled up on the floor on top of his own jacket. Deep bruises sat under his eyes and his pale face made them stand out. The stench of booze wafted off of him strong enough that Yuuri almost gagged.

“I would have just kicked him out and let him learn his lesson waking up by the trash, but it’s been too cold out.” The owner shrugged. “So I called Victor. He didn’t answer, but he gave me your number in case that happened.”

“Thank you,” Yuuri said, his eyes still stuck on on the rumpled Yuri. “I appreciate you calling me.”

“I’m trying to run a business and make sales, and I like people who buy a lot, but even I think that something should be done about that one.”

“I’ll take care of it.”

The owner helped Yuuri drag Yuri’s heavy, limp body to the door, but after that, he was on his own. He managed to get them into the cab, with Yuri waking up only long enough to flail around and mutter expletives before groaning and curling up in the back seat. The ride home was accompanied by Yuri’s louder and louder pained groans. It shouldn’t have been a surprise that when Yuuri tried to get them back out of the cab, Yuri lost the contents of his stomach.

Yuuri stood there in shock in the cold night air as Yuri slumped forward and slid out of the back seat and into the snow. They were both covered in it. The cab driver made a pitying noise. “That’s some shit luck.”

“Yes…” Yuuri paid the man and then hauled Yuri to his feet and dragged him inside.

First thing first, get cleaned up.

Yuuri divested them of their coats and pants before dropping them in the washer. Those had taken the brunt of it. Yuuri spent a long time on the hardwood floor by the entryway getting Yuri to drink some water. It was rough going as Yuri was in and out of consciousness. Why was he so drunk? What happened? Was it more than just the injury?

In the morning, Yuuri would get to the bottom of it. For now, he hauled Yuri up once more and helped him to the bathroom before dumping him onto the bed. Yuuri took a moment to catch his breath and stretch out his back. He was still doing the occasional show tour but hadn’t been training all that hard for years. This sudden strength building workout was rough.

“Let’s get you out of that shirt and wipe you down,” Yuuri said, though mostly to himself since Yuri wasn’t even awake.

Stripping off the sweater and sweat soaked under shirt was an ordeal. After that, wiping Yuri down with a washcloth wasn’t so bad. The problem was, Yuuri was noticing things. Yuri had certainly grown a lot over the years, and it had thinned out his already small frame. However, being off a regular training regimen meant that a little weight gain should have happened. Sure, not to Yuuri’s usual extent, but definitely a thin layer of softness.

That wasn’t there on Yuri. In fact, he looked thinner, like he wasn’t eating. His core muscles that he should have been able to maintain looked sunken, showing off his ribs. Yuuri’s concern skyrocketed. His fingers brushed over the milky white skin, upset at every bone he could feel poking through so easily.

“Oh, Yurio… What’s wrong?” Yuuri whispered.

Yuri’s only response was a deep breath and a furrowing of his eyebrows in his sleep. The rise and fall of his chest brought attention to the patch that was crinkling at the edges. Yuuri thought it odd that Yuri was wearing a patch under so many layers of clothes. Well, he was safe inside Yuuri and Victor’s home, so it could be taken off and reapplied later.

Hooking a fingernail under the raised corner on the edge of the patch, Yuuri carefully peeled it off… and then abruptly stopped breathing. There, on Yuri’s chest, in dark, bold, intricate detail, was Yuuri’s mark.

The mark on Yuuri’s own chest hadn’t stopped growing for years. It had been a regular point of concern and most days Victor was fine with it, but sometimes he would fly off into a depressive fit that would have them arguing for days. Yuuri had always worried about who had the other mark. What did they think of Yuuri for not trying to find them? Was it selfish to focus only on Victor, Yuuri’s too obvious idol? Was Yuuri’s soulmate happy or miserable while waiting on a love that would never seek them out?

And yet, the entire time, it had been Yuri.

“Did you know?” Yuuri whispered.

Yuri, who had hovered around them for years. Yuri, who had always supported them and always relied on their support in return. Yuri, who had been at their wedding and offered the most heart wrenching toast. Yuri, who, during the first two weeks of his injury, looked at Yuuri like a man drowning.

“You knew…”

Of course Yuri had known. Had likely known for years. Yuuri and Victor weren’t the most circumspect of drunks. How many times had they stripped during their partying? Yuuri had more than once woken up with his patch hanging half off his chest. Nobody had said much of it. Not even Yuri, who had obviously seen it.

Seen, and said nothing about it, leaving Yuuri and Victor to their whirlwind romance. That must have seemed fine at first, since Yuri was vocal about his dislike of soulmates. Yuuri had heard the story of Yuri’s parents through Victor. It was a tragic tale, but unfortunately fairly common. Yuuri’s parents weren’t soulmates, but they had instilled the importance of working hard on a marriage, soulmark or not.

Had Yuri been waiting on Yuuri’s marriage to fall apart? No. Yuri had done a lot to help them out and make sure they were doing well. Yuri probably thought it was for the best, but just like Victor, had started feeling the press of loneliness the older he got. So Yuri had just suffered in silence while trying so hard to hide it all from them.

The memory of Yuri, drowsy on painkillers and foot wrapped in a cast, falling asleep in Yuuri’s arms, popped into Yuuri’s head. That must have been… painful. Yuuri hadn’t even realized what was happening. He knew that Yuri had been upset and only wanted to comfort him. Yuuri hadn’t considered how much that might have upset Yuri who, at the time, must have thought everything in his life had come to an end.

Tears were in Yuuri’s eyes before he could stop them. He brushed Yuri’s damp hair back from a sickly face. “I’m so sorry for not realizing it…”

Yuri slept on, unaware that his secret was exposed. Yuuri took a deep breath and pulled himself together. He had a lot to think about. Grabbing some pajamas from the dresser, Yuuri managed to get them on Yuri and the man tucked into bed. Yuuri dropped a soft kiss onto Yuri’s forehead before turning out the light and padding from the room.

 _I need to call Victor,_ Yuuri determined before pulling out his phone.

 

~*~

 

Yuri woke groggy and with a splitting headache. He groaned and curled up into a ball, desperately wishing he was still unconscious. Sometimes he wondered if drinking so much was worth it. Then he remembered how numb it would make him feel and decided that this was a small price to pay. At least now the pain in his head covered up that aching cold feeling in his chest.

He buried his face into the pillow and took a few steady breaths to calm his stomach. The sheets smelled… different. It took him far longer than it should have to realize he was not in his own bed. Victor must have picked Yuri up from the bar and took him back to the house. Again. Yuri groaned as he thought about that. Another lecture was coming. Maybe he could sneak out before it happened.

Stumbling out of bed, he weaved his way to the bathroom to relieve himself and then stare at his haggard image in the mirror. He looked like shit. His hair was a mess, his face looked like he hadn’t slept in a week, and his skin appeared paler than usual. When was the last time he ate real food? He couldn’t remember. He was just never hungry anymore…

Yuri yawned a reached under the pajama shirt to scratching his stomach. He felt itchy all over. Probably from the dried sweat, booze, and who knew what else. Ugh. Had he gotten sick again? Probably. He should—

The whole world shattered around him as he realized his nails were scratching over his chest and his _patch was missing._ “No, no, no!” Yuri yanked the shirt off to confirm it. There in the mirror, like some kind of bold accusation, was his mark, bare for the world to see. Yuri felt his stomach flip and likely would have hugged the toilet had there been anything in him to toss up.

Had Victor seen it? Maybe he didn’t know what it was. Stupid! Of course Victor would recognize it. The idiot could name off the placement of every freckle on Yuuri’s body. He’d know what Yuuri’s damn mark looked like!

Yuri needed to leave, now. He stumbled out of the bathroom in a blind panic. “Where are my fucking clothes?!”

Usually Victor just threw them into a pile on top of the dresser but they weren’t there. Where? Where? Where? Fuck it. He’d just steal something. He yanked opened a drawer and started pawing around for something warm enough to run outside with. The door to the bedroom opened.

He whirled around, ready to see silver hair and a disapproving frown, but no, it was much, much worse. In the doorway stood Yuuri, fully dressed and looking tired, like he’d been up most of the night. There was a solemn expression on his face, and it was too much for Yuri to bear.

Unconsciously, Yuri took a step back, his hands flying up to pointlessly cover his chest. “Why did you take it off?” he croaked.

“Yurio…”

“I wasn't going to say anything! I was going to let it fade!” He recognized that he sounded hysterical, but he couldn’t stop it. What if Yuuri was upset and rejected him and forced him to leave? What if he never saw the either of them again? It hurt. It hurt already.

“I know.” Yuuri’s face looked so sad. Yuri had done that — had caused that look to be directed at him. _It hurt._

“I don’t know why it’s growing!” Yuri felt the tears burning his eyes. “I didn’t want it to!”

“But it did.”

A sob ripped out of Yuri. He couldn’t handle not seeing them again. They were all he had. He knew that he should have been strong enough long ago to walk away, but he wasn’t. The two of them, however much they drove him crazy, were the only people that could keep that gnawing feeling of loneliness at bay.

Yuuri’s challenging smile, his gentle fingers, his attentiveness… Yuri craved it even though he knew that he shouldn’t — couldn’t. Yuuri was already in love, already had a life, and there was no room for Yuri. He knew that. He _knew._ But staying on the edges of Yuuri’s life had been enough. It couldn’t be like that now. Yuuri would never be able to accept the threat that was the mark on Yuri’s chest.

“I don’t want to leave.” The words slipped out of him unbidden, high pitched and wavering. Why was he so weak? He clenched his eyes tight, terrified of seeing the pity, or worse, anger in Yuuri’s eyes. His wrapped his arms around himself, fingers digging in hard enough to bruise, desperate to hold himself together even as he felt himself falling apart.

Warm hands cupped Yuri’s cheeks and his eyes flew wide in surprise. Yuuri’s face was set, determined and bordering on that look he got when he was ready to scold Yuri for being childish. It wasn’t at all what he thought he was going to see.

“You’re not going anywhere,” Yuuri said, voice brooking no argument.

“What?” Yuri couldn’t understand what was happening.

“You’ve kept this a secret a long time, haven’t you?” Yuuri’s eyes searched his for some answer he couldn’t comprehend.

“I’m sorry.”

Just like that, Yuri was wrapped up tight in Yuuri’s embrace. It felt warm, safe, and comforting. It was all he’d ever wanted. No… it was what he _needed._ Yuri was so determined to keep everyone at arm’s length, terrified of being hurt by getting too close, but Yuuri had never allowed it. If ever Yuri needed someone to help him, someone to be there, someone to support him in every aspect of his life, Yuuri was the person to depend on. No wonder Yuri was so addicted.

The tears started, hot and heavy, wracking his body with giant sobs. Yuuri never let go. He stayed right there as Yuri released all of the fear and anxiety he’d kept inside for so long. For years he was convinced that the secret emblazoned on his chest would rip his life apart. He was nothing but raw emotion realizing that it wouldn’t. At least, not right away.

When Yuri at last began to calm down, his whole body trembled, exhausted and woozy. Yuuri brought them out into the living room, wrapped Yuri up in a thick blanket on the couch, and then pressed tea and bread into his hands. Though he hated to admit it, the food helped him feel a little steadier.

Yuuri waited with infinite patience for Yuri to be calm enough to talk once more, one hand rubbing circles on Yuri’s back. It left Yuri feeling irrationally nervous. He didn’t know how to proceed from here. There was no fixing it. The stupid universe was determined for one or all of them to get hurt.

“Hey…” Yuuri kept his voice soft and gentle. “Don’t hide things like this from me anymore.”

The tears were back, burning Yuri’s eyes, filling them up against his will. “And what was I supposed to say?” Yuri rasped. “I didn’t want a soulmate, so fate punished me by introducing you after the both of you were already up each other’s ass.”

“You think soulmates are all doomed to fail.”

“Isn’t this proof?”

“Not to me.”

Yuri scoffed. That was just some bullshit line. There was no fixing what was happening. “So now you’re going to tell me that we can just be great friends and be happy?” he snapped, his voice dripping with contempt. He scrubbed at the tears in his eyes, angry that they wouldn’t stop.

“Then what is it that you want?”

That was the real question, wasn’t it? Yuri had been so against thinking about it, that he was left unprepared to answer. He didn’t really know what it was he wanted. Being cut off completely was devastating to even think about, but living as he was now wasn’t doing him any favors. But the thought of Yuuri and Victor not being the perfect little couple anymore had Yuri swimming in panic. So where exactly did that leave him?

“It doesn’t matter,” Yuri said, because that had always been the right answer. “Your parents aren’t soulmates. You and Victor aren’t. You’re happier like that. It’s obvious.”

Yuuri sighed in that way he did when Yuri was being stubborn. “We’re happy because we work at it.”

“And I was created to sabotage it,” Yuri spat.

“No. I don’t believe that.”

“Then what exactly _do_ you believe?” Yuri turned to scowl into Yuuri’s warm brown eyes. Why was the damned man so calm? If Yuuri actually cared, he’d be just as panicked at Yuri was. But of course, Yuuri only cared that much about Victor…

“I think we’re soulmates for a reason.”

“What reason?!”

“Sometimes, all the encouragement and praises in the world couldn’t lift me up and the smallest of negative comments could break me. It was never like that with you. Whenever I could feel myself slipping, you’d shove me back on course. Everyone had the right to be angry with me, even myself, but they were all afraid I’d shatter if they directed it at me. You didn’t. You always assumed I was strong enough to pick myself up, and you showed me how by always standing firm, no matter what.”

Yuri felt his face light on fire. “Everyone knows you’re not some porcelain doll!”

“No, they don’t. But you do.” Yuuri smiled, one hand reaching out to grip Yuri’s. “Am I important to you? Is that why you were so afraid of losing me?”

That question had a million different answers that Yuri refused to speak out loud. He looked away, glaring at his lap and desperately hoping the tidal wave of depression would wait a little longer to consume him. “It doesn’t matter.”

“Why not?”

“Victor.”

That had always been the issue. Yuuri had been lovesick over his idol since he was a child. Marrying Victor had been a dream come true. Yuri knew that, he’d seen it on both their faces at the wedding. He’d spent most of his life assuming love was some fairytale idea, only to realize that just applied to soulmates. Love was real, if you chose it, if you strived for it, and Yuuri and Victor had.

“I’ve already talked to Victor,” Yuuri said, like it was no big deal.

Yuri whipped his head around and gaped. “What? What did you say!”

“You’ve been self destructive for a while now,” Yuuri scolded. “First, I lectured Victor on hiding your binge drinking from me. Second, I let him know why you have been so upset.”

Yuri clutched the blankets wrapped in front of his chest in a panic. “You told him about the mark?”

“Of course I did.”

“Why?!”

“Because he’s my husband.”

“But he’ll think I’m destroying everything!” Yuri could feel the adrenaline already screaming through his veins, insisting that he run away from the unnecessary drama Yuuri had just caused.

“He doesn’t blame you.”

“He’ll blame the mark!”

Something tired and annoyed settled on Yuuri’s face. “I’m aware,” he deadpanned before taking a deep breath and aiming for calm once more. “We spent most of the night talking. I’m not leaving Victor. Ever.”

That was what Yuri wanted, so why did hearing it hurt so bad? He looked away, hoping Yuuri wouldn’t see the pain flashing across his face. However, a warm hand cupped his cheek and turned him back to look into calm, accepting eyes.

“I’m not leaving you either.”

Yuri shook his head in tiny movements. “And how does that even work?”

“What do you want?” Yuuri asked again.

Too much. So many selfish desires that just coursed through his system. Things he both did and didn’t want and there was no good solution for them, no perfect course, no fated love that would fix everything. But at the core of every conflicting desire and bone deep need was one thing: “You.”

Inexplicably, Yuuri smiled. “Okay.”

Yuri angrily shoved Yuuri away, the blanket slipping from his shoulders in the sudden movement. “What the fuck do you mean _okay_?!”

That earned him a disapproving frown. “I want you to calm down so we can talk about this.”

“Talk about what? You’re married!”

“And you are also part of that family!” Yuuri snapped, his patience reaching an end. “You have been for a while.”

Yuri almost stopped breathing. “What?”

“I’m saying that there’s been something between us for a while and we’ve both been ignoring it. That doesn’t make me love Victor any less. Besides, Victor cares for you, too. He always has.”

“But that’s different than—”

“Stop fighting me on this.” Yuuri placed one hand over Yuri’s now exposed mark. “I don’t think fate was wrong to link us together, but it’s not the universe’s job to shove all the best choices in our path. We still have to figure out what we want and need, the goals we strive for, and the people we choose to be in our lives.”

“I don’t understand…”

“I’ve been ignoring this for a while, and it was stupid of me.” Yuuri moved to grab both of Yuri’s hands. “If anything, seeing your mark was just the push I needed to make my own decision. I want both of you in my life. Always. Is that okay with you?”

Yuri shook his head in disbelief, tears rolling hot down his cheeks again. “You’re just saying that because—”

“No, I’m not.” Yuuri leaned forward, getting into Yuri’s space so that all of Yuri’s senses were filled with him. “Soulmark or not, I would still choose you. I thought it was selfish of me to want both of you, but it looks like keeping that hidden is doing more harm than good. So here I am, saying it out loud. So, no more secrets between us. I want Victor, and I want _you_.”

Yuri sucked in a sharp, painful breath. “You…”

“I _choose_ you, Yuri. If your mark was there or not, I would always choose you. Would you?”

The world was ending, that must be the reason behind all of it. If that were so, then he may as well enjoy what little time he had left. He nodded, unable to speak, and was pulled into Yuuri’s arms, held tight and safe, little kisses dropping into his hair. He clung back as if at any moment Yuuri would disappear.

“Victor’s going to be impossible,” Yuri blurted out, voice thick with tears.

“Then we’ll work it out.”

“Everyone will talk!”

“Then let them.”

“Your parents will be angry at me!”

“They’ll understand and they already love you.” Yuuri ran his hand up and down Yuri’s back. “We can make it work if you are willing to put in the effort.”

Yuri nodded, his face scraping against Yuuri’s shirt. He would do anything, _anything_ , to stay in Yuuri’s arms like this. It was all he’d ever needed, and that felt like a betrayal to everything he’d believed his entire life, but that didn’t make it any less true. Yuuri kept him stable and focused, provided unwavering affection and comfort. Stupid fate for figuring that out long before him.

_I’m sorry, mom. Please don’t hate me for this._

“Yurio…” Yuuri pulled back and ran his fingers into Yuri’s messy hair, brown eyes locked on red rimmed turquoise.

“I love you,” Yuri blurted out on a breath of air.

A radiant grin was his reward for that. “I love you, too, Yuri Plisetsky.”

And didn’t that just fill Yuri to the brim with warmth? He was too overwhelmed to even determine what it was he was feeling. Then Yuuri’s head was tilted and coming closer. Lips settled along Yuri’s and it was the single greatest thing he’d ever felt in his life. Kissing Yuuri Katsuki had been everything his life was missing.

It finally occurred to Yuri in that moment what the warm, radiating feeling inside of him was. He was happy.

 

~*~

 

“Victor! Can you set the table?” Yuuri called.

“Yes, my love!” Victor sing-songed and he filled three glasses with tea preferences and set them on the table before grabbing the silverware.

Yuri walked out of the kitchen laden with plates and set them in their spots. Yuuri was close behind, getting everything arranged as they settled down to eat. Victor dropped a loving kiss onto Yuuri along with a shower of praises for making such a delicious meal. Turning, Victor kissed Yuri’s temple and offered more praises for helping. Yuri blushed and grumbled, but ultimately didn’t fight Victor off. Yuuri beamed at them.

Family dinners had become the norm. It felt odd when they weren’t all together in the house, sharing the space. It was why they’d recently moved Yuri in, unsatisfied with him being anywhere else. It had been a little awkward at first, but they had adjusted.

Yuuri had been right all along, the relationship took work. Yuri didn’t know how to _be_ in a relationship, especially one as already established as Yuuri and Victor’s. There had been a huge learning curve and a lot of fighting. Victor wasn’t exactly helpful the first few months as he flew off into tantrums and paranoid rants about losing Yuuri. It had been a lot to overcome.

But they had. Despite everything that went wrong, they all stayed determined in learning how to make it work. That was new for Yuri. He’d never expected anyone to put so much effort into keeping him around. Thus, he put his everything into finding ways to make the three of them work, sometimes to his detriment, which always ended with Yuuri lecturing and Victor stewing in guilt.

They weren’t perfect, but that was okay. Perfect wouldn’t have felt real and Yuri would have been constantly terrified of the day it all fell apart. However, seeing their flaws in one another, arguing and overcoming it, talking things out, that was something real and tangible. It was something that had never occurred to him before that he needed.

“You have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow,” Yuuri reminded.

Yuri made a face. “I hope they finally approve me for full training.”

“You could always go on tour to the ice shows with Yuuri!” Victor grinned. “They’re fun.” There was debate over Yuri returning to competition. He was getting older, and his long stint of injury would set him back by a lot. He was still debating it.

“Yeah, better than sitting in a booth doing commentary.” Yuri rolled his eyes. After Victor had been on the ice for so long, Yuri was baffled how Victor could handle such a boring job.

“But I _love_ critiquing!” Victor defended. “Oh! I need a new outfit. Let’s go shopping after your doctor’s visit tomorrow.”

“Why not me?” Yuuri pouted.

Victor gave Yuuri an overly happy smile. “Because you tell me I look good in everything. Yurio’s just more honest.”

Yuuri pouted and stabbed at his food. “Not my fault you can pull off everything.”

Yuri scoffed. “No he can’t. Stop letting him wear white. It washes him out.”

“I think he looks like the ice king in white.”

Victor preened at that but Yuri just shook his head at the two idiots. “I don’t know why you think that’s a compliment.”

Yuuri chuckled and leaned over to kiss Yuri. “Then I’ll leave him in your capable hands.”

“Good.” Yuri was totally not blushing. They’d been together for a while. There was no need to blush over simple kisses anymore.

Their marks had flourished, growing beyond the size of a normal patch. It was unusual. Yuri had never seen a mark so big before. He still had a hard time seeing it as a good thing after years of hating it, but Yuuri loved it enough for the both of them. Even Victor would spend his time tracing the outlines on their skin, marveling at the details. Yuri was still convinced that one day Victor would sneer at Yuri’s mark, but it had yet to happen. Instead, Victor would drop kisses on it and smile. Yuri was always overwhelmed during those moments.

The Katsukis had done exactly what Yuuri said they would and welcomed Yuri with open arms into the family. They didn’t seem concerned about their son’s sudden polyamorous love life. That wasn’t the case with _all_ of their friends and family, but those that were unsure about it mostly kept the opinion to themselves.

Yuri had been most concerned about Otabek, but that turned out to be unnecessary. Otabek was genuinely happy that Yuri had managed to work it out. “Even if Yuuri wasn’t your soulmate, I would still be happy for you,” was what Otabek had said. The man always knew the right thing to say to help Yuri relax. He would never find a better friend.

So, life was a little different for Yuri now, and different for Yuuri and Victor as well. Yet, strangely, _somehow_ , it worked. Yuri was loved and accepted, unconditionally. He knew that. He had people willing to do what was necessary to keep things balanced, and he was more than willing to do the same. Was this what it meant to be in love?

“Hey.”

Yuri looked up to find both Yuuri and Victor smiling at him. Had he missed something while lost in his own musings? “Sorry, what?”

“You looked a little dazed,” Victor chuckled.

“You okay?” Yuuri asked.

“Yeah.” Yuri realized he meant it. He was okay. Finally, at long last, he wasn’t feeling constantly burdened by the demands of fate. He smiled in return. “Never been better.”

Yuuri grinned and it felt like home.

**Author's Note:**

> http://thatvixenchick.tumblr.com  
> So by popular request, my cats have their own tumblr now. https://vixen13scats.tumblr.com/


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